Anger

i was angry with someting. somethign.
someti
me i cannot just change my self and dorectly change into someone new. This fever and and my stomach which i dropped with many fatty and cholesterol meat make my anger become more and more. I just,,...
Ok, i need to change but dont force me that way. Ok, I know there are many thing i have to repair and i realize.
can you feel how does it feel? Perhaps i cannot hold my anger, these previous days i've been angry about four for six times. And i need to say, it is awful, unconvinient, my vitamin C dropped steeply.

i just,..
Okay...
i dont want to be forced. Let me do it by my self. Let me try to do it when i am sincerely want to do it.

Again, wreck is left behind. I am sick with  this feelin. I go down again, fall again, and don't want to move from this valley. As if i enjoy my "illness". What a foolish!

now? What can i do? Now i get fever and cannot do the dishes. My mind become blur and uncertainty of mood. I even hard to sleep these previous night, i have a cold so i cant breathe well. I get lessen oxygen supply to my lung.

It goes down and down...