Laziness

dear my blog

Somehow I think that I’m very wasted for all the gift that my God has given me. He has already gives me many thing: equipments to study, lap top, speakers, own room to study, no roommate, own TV, two cell phones, oxford advanced learns dictionary in my lap top. yet I still be ungrateful

my GPA has already good so far, but this semester 4 semester, my intention to do more in class is lessen. I don’t know how it could be. My pocket money is increasing –my parents give me more-.the laziness appear every time I back home. In class I do it pretty well –when there is no assignment-. when there is an assignment I become pale, curse myself, feeling stuck coz I didn’t do it. people know me as a good student yet I try to show them the opposite today.

Honestly speaking this is making me feel insecure. Knowing that my dream to become a professor, this laziness of life drives my dream to a blur picture. Even me myself feel more excited to do extraculiculer like debating. Debating seems more appealing rather that studying. it seems very contrast with my real intention to go to college: to study!

Seeing one of my outstanding senior in FB make me “jealous”. He can make it! I know, in God Will, I can make it. I think I can make get highs GPA yet the laziness stand there tries to block me from doing the assignment. Sounds silly, but this is what I feel.

Today, at 2.01 am. I try to make my mind clear.

Somehow in put myself in the danger by not making the assignment. A lecturer -who already known me well- upset since I came late for her class and done poor presentation. Let say, I left behind in my class.

What’s wrong with me? Is there any principle of study that I didn’t follow? Do I do not put myself in a hard work? Do these temptations -easiness- blow my mind? Do I cannot handle my “desire to taste the world”?

There is a big why in my mind.

My parents have already done hard for making me go the college. They are working hard. What about me? Sitting and sleeping and watching YouTube video and spent time for useless miscellaneous things. Somehow, I feel pity to myself. I’ve bought several good books but I didn’t read them.