A note after i talk to my best friend:
1. Before you help others, help your self first coz it is impossible to help others while you are in "handicap"
2. the more activity you have, the more "ammunition" you need
3. you have to strengthen you qalbu so that you can breath, so that you can do many acctivity without being distructed, so that you can still do tahajjuj, dhuha, tilwah with those tons of activity
4 fulfill the right of you eyes: to see right things, you ears, your qalbu, your mind, your soul. then you'll enjoy your life "ikhlas"ly..
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